Does it seem to you lately that more people than not are in some sort of a low grade depressive, angry state? It does to me. We have over two more years of George, we’ll probably have to endure another military draft by the time my nieces and nephews are 18, and World War III is likely in my lifetime sooner than later. What’s not to be mad about?
A friend admitted yesterday that he and his partner were just sick of everyone and they didn’t know what to do about it. They keep quoting Elaine from Seinfeld: "people, huh, they’re the worst".
And just pulling up today’s headlines make you wonder what the heck is going on in our mad, mad world:
"Crazy person stabs man to death"
"Standoff ends, man arrested in shower"
"Police taser naked man"
"McKinney aide scuffles with photographer"
And my personal favorite: George Bush saying that today’s airline terror plot is a stark reminder that we are at war. Does he really think we need a reminder?
As much as Cynthia McKinney drives me crazy, she does know how to get mad. I guess that’s what the therapist types call your "shadow self" – when someone’s actions bother you way too much, you need to look inside yourself to find out why. Cynthia is one of our Georgia congresswomen who just went down in voter flames. At her "concession rally", she was caught on camera singing along (albeit off key) with Pink's "Dear Mr. President". You gotta love that. After playing the Pink song, rather than giving a traditional concession speech, she took the opportunity to bust the chops of the POTUS (that’s secret service speak for President of the United States) regarding the war. Cynthia’s been quoted as saying "Ever since I came to Congress in 1992, there are those who have been trying to silence my voice. I've been told to 'sit down and shut up' over and over again. Well, I won't sit down and I won't shut up until the full and unvarnished truth is placed before the American people." My guess is that we’ll be hearing from her again soon. And frankly, I hope so; she's great blog fodder at a minimum. Cynthia's Swan Song
So I’ve been trying to pay better attention to what makes me mad and what I then do with that anger. This is going to be a long process since getting mad is not really something I do. Since being more attuned to this, what I noticed rather quickly is that I get annoyed an awful lot, but I don’t really get raging mad. If anyone ever asked me if I had anger issues, I would respond with a resounding "no". If I don’t get angry, I don’t have anger issues, do I?
I’m guessing it’s kind of a Midwestern thing – that old "keep your emotions to yourself" and the "if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all". One of the first things I noticed in moving to the south (after learning that a blessing is said before every meal, even if you are attending a work lunch function), is that we Yankees don’t know how to get mad. Southerners have a way of being able to smother their anger in pure Black Strap Molasses while still being direct. They have perfected the ability to call you a bitch to your face but then somehow lighten the blow by wrapping it up in a "bless your heart".
But for me, I doubt I’ll ever be the type to get angry right in someone’s face; it’s just not part of my DNA. So my challenge is to figure out a way to vent my anger, and more often my annoyances, in a personal way. To find a way to get rid of it so that it’s not all stuck inside eating at my stomach lining or splattered all over someone else in a fit of rage.
So I’ve been getting suggestions on how to do this. Here are a few of the ideas that have been floated:
• Go to the batting cages or the driving range and smack the life out of those softballs or golf balls
• Take up kick boxing or karate
• Spend an hour just writing all of my anger out on paper, uncensored, and then burn it
• Crank out some head-banging music and dance around until I tire myself out
• Go to big lots, purchase the cheapest set of glass dishes I can find, then go find an empty dumpster and smash them all to pieces one by one
Now that I have some ideas, I need to pick a couple and then plan for it. I’m leaning toward this combination: I write down my anger for an hour while listening to Metallica, Marilyn Manson and The Smashing Pumpkins, and I take occasional breaks from my writing to jump up and down in my own personal mosh pit. Don't those sound like healthy choices? Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall and witness this?
I think I will need a "calm down" plan for what to do when this hour is over. I guess I better get more suggestions for that AND pick a day when poor Doc. B. won’t have to walk in on this!
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4 comments:
I enjoyed that one Carrie Lu. I was thinking I'd like to be a fly on the wall during your anger dance, but on second thought that sounds like would be a short trip to meeting the backside of a fly swatter. Even though I'm a southerner, my anger style doesn't cojure up a bottle of molasses - its more like Yosemite Sam or the Tasmanian Devil (bless their hearts)- of course I don't have to tell you that ;)
I like the Tasmanian Devil comparison particularly well! No flies allowed, bless their hearts!
It's time for me to chime in here as I related to several things you mentioned in your "Get Your Mad On" blog. Recently several of us were sitting on our cottage porch talking about all the crazy people out there and I said that I was embarrassed to be a people - similar to Elaine's comment on Seinfeld. Then, I have a brother who is so laid back that nothing seems to irritate him so I asked Roger, "What annoys you". He had to think for a while but then mentioned two things that occur in restaurants. One is if they go to a fancy, expensive restaurant he is annoyed by parents who don't make their kids behave. He also is a tournament bridge player and does not like to go to dinner with a bunch of other bridge players who rehash hands loudly thus disturbing other diners who could care less about bridge. My third remark would be about writing out anger on a piece of paper. I actually wrote a saga about a very frustrating incident and sent it to the writer of this blog (who was in no way involved in the incident)and that helped a lot. This evening I could relay my anger connected with adding minutes to my Tracfone but I don't want to even think about it again. Love, Mom PS Happy Birthday to Doc B. this Sunday!!!!!
I would have to agree that your brother does not seem to get upset about stuff. And from your questions of him, it seems that he tends to get more annoyed than mad as well! By the way, it may be time to get rid of that tracfone! For one thing, they don't know how to spell their own product name!
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