(Don't) Bring me a Shrubbery

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIV4poUZAQo&feature=fvw

The view from the front porch (pre-shrub massacre)

The view from the front porch (post-shrub massacre)

I've wanted to get rid of the shrubbery at the front of our house since we bought this place ten years ago. Their upkeep is a ton of work with little enjoyment in return. Our 80 year old neighbor, Mrs. "Smith," has also wanted us to get rid of the bushes.  I keep telling her that Obama already did that.  Anyway, when Mrs. Smith gets the chance, she reminds us about when the previous owner’s wife planted those dang things (she doesn’t use the word "dang;" but it’s implied). Mrs. Smith has a hard enough time getting her van in and out of her driveway all on her own...then you add numerous blind spots tucked into those hedges and even her cataract glasses can't help her maneuver her vehicle out into the street.

So what have we been waiting for? The winning lottery ticket? “Curb Appeal: The Block” to show up in our front yard? A run-away MARTA bus to plow through the bank of shrubs? Any one of those choices would be quite acceptable, but the truth is, we just could never decide what to put in their place. A retaining wall? Rocks and plantings? A terrace? Okay, enough with all the question marks. We still don’t know what the heck is going to replace the shrubs. But like all good girls in Decatur, we just had the chainsaw sharpened and were looking for a reason to use it. As Doc. B. stared in her own version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, other Decatur girls drove by pumping their fists, whistling and giving the thumbs up sign. Wait, I was at work while Doc. B. took on this task, so I guess I just made up that last part – I bet it did happen though.

I was so happy when I pulled into the driveway and saw what had been accomplished. I got right out there with my camera so that I could document the monumental moment. While I was out there, a neighbor commented on how Doc. B. was wielding that chainsaw – so see, I guess I was right about the pumping of fists. I can’t wait to start dreaming about what we’ll make of that space. In the meantime, there’s a stack of shrubbery in our backyard in case anyone needs to get past the Knights who say Nee.