Cookie Monsters

Yes, it’s Girl Scout cookie delivery time. As usual, this year I got sucked into buying a few boxes – three to be exact – a pretty low number for me compared to past cookie seasons. Have you noticed how right after the first deliveries are made, there is an excitement in the air. That excitement, however, is promptly followed by disgust because of the amount one has already consumed and it’s only the day after delivery. I’ve heard speak of people who will eat an entire sleeve of thin mints in one sitting. And no one wants to eat the dang things alone – it’s similar to not wanting to drink alone. So, you resort to becoming a cookie pusher within minutes of opening the box. “Oh, just have one” is not a phrase you hear when it comes to Girl Scout cookies. Has anyone really ever eaten just one? You have to at least eat whatever the suggested serving size is (that’s three cookies for the thin mints by the way). What I ended up doing this year was eating a few of the shortbread cookies and a few of the thin mints and then placing the remains on the break room table. I kid you not, I came back no less than 20 minutes later, to grab a diet coke, and every single cookie was gone.

I lied to a Girl Scout on Saturday. Well, it was really more of an exaggeration. Doc B. and I were at the Whole Foods grabbing a few organic food fixin’s to counteract the effect of the cookies I’d eaten during the prior week. As we were leaving, a fully badged Girl Scout and her mother were setting up their table of “extras” in front of the Border’s Bookstore. I’m pretty sure this 12 year old Scout had earned the coveted “top saleswoman” circular-shaped badge and had it meticulously stitched right to the top of her sash. The snappy little saleswoman politely approached me and inquired if I would like to purchase some cookies. I responded loudly enough for the mom to hear: “Oh, thanks for asking but I ate an entire box just yesterday”. It got a laugh from the mother, but I’m not sure it went over so well with the young lady who will probably become the next Meg Whitman, or will at least be driving a pink Cadillac from her Mary Kay sales.

My mom will have to fill in the gaps on this as my memory is not always so good – plus, the more I tell stories over my lifetime, the further I come from the truth. The way I like to remember it is that my mom and I quit Girl Scouts together. We went on this awful camping trip and I think it must have been mutual that we didn’t really want to do it again. If there’s more of a story there, mom, please feel free to expand and/or invoke the embellishment rule for this blog!

Cheers to Girl Scouts and Girl Scout cookie addicts everywhere! For the latter, there must be a twelve step program that begins with admitting you are powerless over those darned cookies – well I am…

Photos courtesy of Girlscouts.org