Retox

Of all the things I missed during my detox, it was the salt shaker I craved the most. Not the alcohol. Not the coffee. Not the pizza. Not the diet coke. Not the popcorn. The dang salt shaker is apparently what rules my life. But you know what? If you cut out the pinches of salt for 10 days, you actually start to taste other flavors...and enjoy them.

And along that same pimento dotted line...I've been asking for green, salty balls, I mean olives, from Santa Claus since at least 2nd grade (and getting them in my stocking). But I didn't have a single juicy, mouthwatering, sumptuous olive for over two whole weeks. That's a damn long time without fulfilling my olive addiction. And then I promptly put them in an Aviation gin martini. Wait, maybe the gin is the addiction? Oh and did you know that you can spell "I love" with the word "Olive?"

Seriously though. It really wasn't as bad or as difficult as I thought it would be. Unlike other fasts or detoxes I've tried, I was actually permitted to eat food this time. Sure, it was a little bland at first, but I got used to using my new favorite condiment: Bragg's Liquid Aminos (like soy sauce but better for you).

I also had more energy than I expected and was able to do some form of exercise on 9 of the 10 days. The only day I skipped was a Saturday when I worked from 6am until 1pm and then had a hair appointment from 2pm until 5pm (yes, it takes 3 hours to cover up my gray hair). I for sure didn't want to sweat after spending three hours in the salon with Pam from Novi - my favorite hairdresser for the past ten years.

So when it was all said and done, I'd lost 13 pounds in 10 days. The science and math-type people in my life of course had to remind me that it was caloric-ly impossible for me to have actually lost that many pounds but what do they know? Just because they have Ph.D.'s and J.D.'s and such. Okay, so as of this morning, I had gained "a couple" of those pounds back. But heck, if I can keep even 5 of those pounds off, it would be something I hadn't been able to accomplish over the past year.

The other plus of the detox? I set foot into Kashi Atlanta for the first time ever and my feet didn't burn. And I got to see what all the fuss was about regarding Swami Jaya Devi. I was determined never to "go there" because it just "had to be a cult." But I said to myself "what the heck? I can resist the temptation to drink the Kool-Aid."

So what does Swami do the very first yoga class I attend? Yes, the one that is mat to mat packed with at least 45 people (the age I will attain tomorrow - in case you were wondering, in the social security world, one attains his/her age on the day before his/her birthday). So what does she do? She smiles at me. She talks directly to me. She says things like "take CARE of yourself...put down anything that is too heavy to CARRIE." And I'm hooked. I suddenly realize why it was such a big deal when Doc. B. was walking to a different yoga studio (Jai Shanti) and along the way passed Swami Jaya Devi who said "ah...I see you're going to yoga." And Doc. B was all a twitter wondering how the heck Swami knew the intended destination!? Okay, so then Doc. B remembered that the yoga mat bag over the shoulder may have been a dead giveaway. Oh well, it makes for a great story anyway.

The only disconcerting part of the 10 days was the discussion of bowel movements that seemed to follow me around like an annoying piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my flip flop. Why did everyone think I was the guru of gastrointestinology? Why was everyone compelled to tell me about the number of times they went number two or didn't go number two? I guess I have that non-judgmental look about me...if they only knew.

So here I am in our kitchen, at the culmination of the 10 days, pointing out to Doc. B (not Doc. BM) that I need something that is not beans, rice, cream of buckwheat, ghee, Castor oil or Kitchari. I wonder if I'll do this again? Anyone with me next time?

Happy first day of fall to one and all!